how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
