he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
