We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
