Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
