i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
