It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
