I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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