Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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