yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
