I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it was like eating out sand paper
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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