I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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