Duck Duck Cougar?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
