i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
