i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
