I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
