Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We got so high we made milksteak
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
