It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
