Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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