:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Your penis caused this!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
