I'm lost and stupid without you.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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