i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
