Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
