the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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