if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
