its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
