new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
