38 yer olds are good kisserssss
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
