I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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