Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
