it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
