Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
