I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
