when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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