There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
