I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He called his prostate his "boner button".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
