i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
