so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
