The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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