after a month anything with tits is on the radar
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
