its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
