Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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