Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
