come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
