me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
