I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
