So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
