question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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