So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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