New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
