Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize