i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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