I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize