i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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