Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize