that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
