K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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