...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
