South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
