If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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