whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
