haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Randomize
