My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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