Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
