be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
