If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
