Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Randomize
