it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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