i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
