I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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