so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
