he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
