so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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