Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
