Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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