I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
